Tag Archives: Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday: Brave…

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays. At least,  that is the case when you link up wuth the Gypsy Mama!

We finger paint with words. We try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Where your words are welcome, just as they are! 

  1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
  2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
  3. Meet & encourage someone who linked up before you.

OK, are you ready? Give us your best five minutes on:

Brave…

Even thoughn the sictionary says being fearless is synonym for brave, I actually beg to differ. I think being really courageous includes having fear, but despite it moving forward.  It is looking your fear in the face, laughing at it, knowing it won’t win, because youa re bold enough to not let it rule you. Oh yeah, it’s there, but that’s okay. 

I have made a few courageous decisions – and not without fear of doing the wrong thing. But at the same time, I thought: what is the worst that could happen? That I am wrong? SO WHAT?! The earth will not give way, my life will not end, what actually is the worst that could happen? Well, that it wasn’t the right decision.

For me the freedom is in being free to decide what I want. And I don;t mean it in a selfless way at all. It is realising God is sooooo big, He can deal with whatever I throw at Him, whatever I decide. He will not leave me or forsake me just because I did it wrong or didn;t do it right. There can be a difference in these two, you know.

It is in knowing that I can never walk away from His love and acceptance. No matter what I do. Because He was brave enough to carry the consequences of all wrong desicions of mankind. And because of Him, I am free to be and free to live. Free to be brave in whatever I decide to do. Because of Him I can face fear, and not let it rule my life. Because of Him I can not only dream, but pursue fulfilling my dreams.

And if that is considered brave, I can only consider it a privilege to live in the freedom that He has provided me. It would be a shame to let myself be cocooned in when He has set me free to be who Iam.

STOP

Now it is your turn!

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Five Minute Friday: Awake…

Once again I am joining The Gypsy Mama:

On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

  1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
  2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
  3. Most important: comment and encourage the person who linked up before you.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Awake…

I didn;t feel particially awake this week…

I felt overwhelmed by a host of emotions that actually knocked me off my feet, in a quite literal sense. I haven;t been able to do much of anything. I am proud that I was awake enough to go to work and continue my one hour session of fitness mid-week. Other than that, I felt oblivion to the rest of the world, cocooned in my own world where my thoughts are swirling around, making my head hurt and my heart ache.

I encountered and was confronted with a part of me related to my bipolar and my upbringing that failed to correct my behaviour and help deal with this particular trait. It hurts like hell and makes me hate my bipolar with a passion.

If I thought I had accepted my bipolar, this was a confrontation that made it clear that to some degree I havent.

As long as it only inconveniences and influences me, I am quite allright with it. As soon as it starts to mess with (precious) relationships, I am off kilter and get knocked out sometimes pretty severely.

I hadn;t seen it coming. I couldn’t to be fair.

To awaken to some parts of yourself that you rather wouldn;t have is a painful business.

Of course the good side of it is that I have the opportunity to work on it and change it. It’s never too late for change, thank God!

All the same, the shut down functions pretty good in my circumstances and to awaken to my painful feelings concerning thsi issue isn;t easy.

Accepting oneself with the odds and particularities one has, isn;t an easy mission. Yest it is one I am determined to fulfil.

Why?

Because I want to learn to cherish myself as much as I cherish my friends…

STOP

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FIve Minute Friday: Roar…

OK.  I am linking up with The Gypsy Mama again for 5 Minute Friday!

Here goes:

The first Friday of the new year.

Let’s do it. Let’s just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Let your mind and your words and your heart fly free; wild – no editing, no over thinking.

Won’t you join me?

  1. Write for 5 minutes flat – don’t edit; don’t second-guess.
  2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
  3. Must: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Roar…

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The first association I have is: Aslan…

The beautiful Lion, who roars in the movie The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, about Narnia.

THe Lion who is good, but not necessarily ‘safe’.

The cry of: ‘it is all over! The battle is won! I am victorious!”

As my word for this year is Freedom, I feel that roaring is part of it. I am going to bellow it out: I.Am.Free!!!

Emerging from years of desert, I feel like the Lion, Who overcame the battle for  me.

I don’t know why it has been dark and dry for so long. I don’t know why I had to cry in my heart for relief for so long.  I don’t know the ins and outs of it.

But I do know that He is carrying me out.  I do know that I have survived. More, much more, than survived. I.Am.Alive!!!

I do know that it is going to be a good year, not necessarily safe, but good. And I’ll take that!

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Five Minute Friday: Connected

Rather late,  but nevertheless joining in with:

  1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
  2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
  3. Most important: visit, comment, encourage the person before you.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on

CONNECTED

As sad as it is, it immediately reminds me of the opposite: disconnect…

Why?

Because that it one of the first things that happen when I drop or glide into depression.  Which happened several weeks ago.

THe first thing is a disconnect with my body – which result in excess sleeping and messing up my sleep-wake cycle;  eating habits go down the drain,  I either eat everything I can find or I don;t know what to eat and therefore hardly eat anything at all;  I don;t see the purpose of personal hygiene.

The last one is something I am ashamed of… and I do have to add that if I go out to meet with people, I will take a shower and brush my teeth.  It takes a huge amount of effort but it is fuelled by shame.

Also,  I isolate myself.  Don;t feel like connecting to anyone.  There are only a few that I will be in touch with and I am grateful for these people (you know who you are!) because somehow I feel safe enough to show myself even when I am a mess.  If it gets worse,  though,  I do a disappearing act…

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Connectedness – regardless of depression it is something I have to work hard on. And I am proud to say that I am doing so much better that even a year ago.

I like to be connected.  The ‘me’ that is caught inside when depressed,  loves to be with people.  Being an introvert, I definitely need my down time, but I have discovered that I like talking to strangers.  Just a little compliment,  remark or comment.

The interesting thing is that I have come to know that my father liked to do his round in the village he lived in the last years of his life.  He was doing his daily round talking to all those he passed on his way.

It is makes me feel connected with him that, when I am doing well, I am like him and enjoy the connection with the random and neighbouring people around me!

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When seasons change…

Today I am joining The Gypsy Mama for the first time for her Five Minute Friday:

Got five minutes? Let’s write. Let’s write in shades of real and brave and unscripted.  Let’s just write and not worry if it’s just right or not.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.

2. Link back at The Gypsy Mama and invite others to join in.

3. Go buck wild with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.

OK,  are you ready? This week’s prompt is brought to you by twitter.  Or at least, by the responses I got on twitter when I asked for suggestions. Thanks Lindsey for this great one.  Or as we would say in Afrikaans,  Baie dankie (pronounced “Buy a donkey” I kid you not!)

Give me your best five minutes for the prompt:

When seasons change….

BEGIN

Seasons… There are so many seasons. The seasons of life, the four seasons of the weather in the Netherlands, the four seasons in music by Vivaldi (if I am not mistaken), the seasons of the water, as in the flow of low and high tide.

And there are the seasons of moods for the bipolar person.

Seasons when you feel depressed and you can’t get out of bed, let alone take a shower and get dressed. Your house or sometimes your bedroom is the only place to be. Your bed the savest place on earth.

It is like a cocoon, where a caterpillar is hiding for the long wait for the rebirth into something completely different.

There are seasons when you are overenthousiastic and hyper active, talking peoples heads of while their ears have already fallen to the ground. The world is your oyster and everything seems possible.

It is like being a butterfly, roaming to and fro, free and without a care in the world.

And always the movement between the caterpillar – the cocoon – the butterfly, back and forth, back and forth, wave after wave, riding it out and finding yourself still alive after all.

Enjoying the beauty of every season.

STOP

Ok, your turn….!!

Photo credit:  internets_dairy

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