Thank Goodness, Father’s day is behind me! Or is it?

All around,  everything and nothing,  all about fathers and what to get them.  A gazillion blog posts,  everywhere you turn,  all those blasted fathers!!  Father’s day 2011 ~ I have been waiting impatiently for you to pass and quit pestering me.

Why?

Because I hail from a family of origin where nothing was as it seemed.  From the outside it looked nice.  However,  “don’t show others your dirty laundry!” was a frequent reminder we kids heard to keep it that way.  In truth,  our family was highly dysfunctional  & very damaging.  Although as a child I,  of course,  considered our life normal,  just like we all do as a kid.

I have always wondered how others like me deal with those Father’s and Mother’s days.  How can you forcibly honor your parents??

Unfortunately,  it reminds me every time of not having a parent nor a kind of relationship with them that makes such a day enjoyable.  It damn hurts!

A cracker

Yesterday I was preparing a cracker.

Flickr credit: spine/176158646

I had sliced a beautiful, tasty tomato,  sprinkled it with salt and pepper…  and added fresh,  thin sliced, raw onion on top.

While cutting the onion I was reminded of my dad and the camping holidays we as a family took in the South of France.  Fresh French bread every day!  Fresh fruits and vegetables we didn’t know existed!  And those we did know,  tasted a million times better.

Flickr credit: sidewalk_flying/1356097555

My dad taught me to eat tomato with raw onion and occasionally I will pine for it.  Since I now can get real good tasting tomatoes at the Persian shop below and fresh, strong onions at the greengrocer,  it is a pleasure to eat my cracker (in lieu of French bread – a necessary dietary compromise).

It’s hard to deal with Father’s  and Mother’s day when sometimes the only thing you can literally be thankful for is the fact they gave you life.  And then there were times I wasn’t even grateful to be alive at that!

Even though Father’s day has passed,  I realised that there was something I could do.

I took the prepared cracker and ate it in honor of my dad,  who sadly passed away this past Summer.

2 Comments

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2 responses to “Thank Goodness, Father’s day is behind me! Or is it?

  1. I have the same feelings about Mother’s Day. I’ve often joked with my sisters that they don’t sell the kinds of card I’d like to give her: one that says “It’s Mother’s Day. I’m Sharone.” Which is a silly way of saying I don’t know how to celebrate these complicated relationships either. It’s different with my dad, but still hard. My dad passed away 11 years ago, when I was a teenager, and I wish I had the chance to know him as an adult, all the time. Like you, I remembered him by eating Cuban food like what he used to make–one of the enduring things he taught me.

    You’re not alone in this. People like us have to make our own families, I think.🙂

    • Oh, don’t talk about cards, it makes me gag! Hey, maybe we found a hole in the market and can become millionaires by providing truthful cards for those *special* holidays, lol!
      I have rescinded mother’s day – sadly.
      Sometimes there is nothing to celebrate and also honoring might end up a stick to beat the dog.
      Honoring your dad by eating Cuban food is, I think, beautiful. I was really glad to find a way to honor him, it means so much more than whatever stupid card on whatever special made-up day, don’t you agree?
      And yes, at least we can choose our friends and we have the body of Christ – we are not alone!

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