Hi there… 
So much for trying to keep a publishing schedule…. the fact it is erratic is a reflection of my life,  I guess!  No use in beating myself up over it ~ best to accept it as is,  liking it or not.

Thanks so much to those kind people who continue to support me and think of me,  even when I am not as much present in the online world!

Not sure it’s a word that is used much – but it has something to it that I like.  To me it speaks of more than simply ‘being connected’,  as if that in itself is so easy, ehum.

Sure,  we have connections or relations,  like family,  spouse,  friends,  class mates,  colleagues,  acquaintances,  the teacher of our kids,  the bus driver we see on the way to work or the cashier who always checks out our groceries.   In all those relations we show a different kind of commitment.  If you imagine yourself in the middle,  there are hundreds of lines going to all sorts of people with whom we connect in different ways.

Imagine your own web with all the contacts and relationships you have.  That is what I call connectedness.

Connectedness gives meaning to our lives.  Just imagine not being connected with anyone.  No web weaved around us,  no relationships to speak of.  I guess we can survive,  but can you call it living?

At the moment there is a whole amount of shifting taking place in my web of connectedness.  It actually reminds me of the French saying:  Parting is partly dying.  I have come to understand this is triggering my depression,  besides the overwhelming tiredness.  Or maybe,  those two are even connected.  No pun intended :).

Even though I am really depressed,  I am still somewhat functioning.  I do sleep,  not as deep and as long as to feel rested,  and use the couch a lot with my eyes closed.  Eating I do in spurts,  cooking is not all it should be though.  Since the cleaning of my house,  I haven’t done much,  other than keep up with the dishes and the laundry.  

And of course my beautiful and lovely rabbits!!!  Cleaning their home takes nearly an hour and spreads loads of dust and dirt around.  Something I didn’t anticipate when considering to buy them.  But cuddling with Frutti  (she is a little crazy, like me.  Cuz she is utterly fearful,  poor thing!  She is doing a little better though.  Just keep cuddlin’ her 🙂 ) while watching young dancers compete is worth it!

I am working even if it is not with as much gusto as I ‘normally’ do.  There even might be another job lined up for 8 hours a week.

But I don’t feel particular connected right now.  It’s not unusual for me to isolate myself when depressed,  often it doesn’t really bother me.

But this time I actually feel more of a disconnect.  Blah!  There is more to it than I can express.  Hate when that happens 😦



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4 responses to “Connectedness

  1. Thinking of you darlin’. I do hope the tide turns soon so you can be on the upswing. (((hugs))))

  2. It’s so hard when you’re depressed to make an effort. Just stay connected at least through your blog and know that people out here care. I hate the depression. The bunnies are a connection. Remember that. They rely on you and you rely on them. If that’s all the connection you can take, it’s something. Take care.


    • Heather ~ you got that right! I am glad I got my bunnies to interact with on a daily basis, I try to cuddle both of them daily. To train them, but also just for me 🙂
      I am doing slightly better – went out to work and was together with a collegue, due to end-of-year duties. That was so much better than working on my own!

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