Construction, demolition, maintenance…

When I wrote my post about being “under construction”,  I received a very interesting comment by Josh.  Here is part of it:

I totally hear what you’re saying about life being “Under Construction”.

Here is my view:

Everyone’s life is either in a period of construction, maintenance, or demolition… I feel right now I’m in a demolition mode with an eye on maintenance.

This broadened my view and showed me a new way of looking at my episodes and seasons in life.

For example:  those past one and a half week has sure been a ‘demolition’ time!  First time in the hospital,  struggling to get a diagnosis,  becoming very sick due to being oversensitive to a certain anti-biotic.  It was pure survival and a lot of pain and tears.

Right now I have entered a ‘maintenance’ time – for as long as it will last🙂.  I am up and moving again,  doing my best to pick up where I left off before I got sick.  And loving it!  I feel the need to catch up on all those days of living I missed.  Causing me to go to bed at 3 a.m…  *shame faced*

It’s a tight rope dance,  really.  Two surprise visitors,  which was a blast!,  and I noticed my rapid speech and excitement,  which started both to boil over.

Now,  I know this is partly due to the fact I had little sleep last night ánd I haven’t seen many people after I came home from the hospital.  I talked to some close friends on the phone during my illnesses.  But,  this is a warning sign that I need to pay attention to… so I don’t fall back in ‘demolition’.

Of course,  once I am physically well again and fully recovered from my experiences,  I expect to enter a ‘construction’ time.  A time where I can build – pay attention to relationships,  spend time with my youth group building relationship with them,  continue my studies,  pick up the translation of “Bipolar In Order”,  continue to build my blog and be involved with other bloggers,  even start voluntary work for a couple of hours a week.

Phew!

It can feel like I am spinning plates,  here,  there and everywhere…

Just waiting for one to fall off… thinking:  will I be able to keep the other plates spinning? Or will the other plates follow in slow or quick succession?  It does keep me on my  toes,  that’s for sure!

Maybe when you read the post title you thought it was in an odd order.  Well,  yes.  You wouldn’t want a contractor to build in that order!  But,  for BD’s there IS no order in our moods or episodes.  We go from maintenance to demolition to construction to maintenance to construction to demolition to…   well,  you get the idea :)!

Photo credit: TimShoesUntied


3 Comments

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3 responses to “Construction, demolition, maintenance…

  1. Great words Fenny. I agree with you when you say there is no order to our moods. Right now I think the boys and I are dealing with some severe cabin fever here in Ohio. And we just got word of yet another snow storm on it’s way tomorrow night. I’m tired of cold bleary days. I need sunshine days with warmth. It’s beginning to affect my moods for sure!

  2. (((Michelle))) I can so relate!! The weather here in Holland is so often grey, grey skies, rain, argh! We just had some days of sunshine, but because I was so sick i haven’t been able to enjoy it, except yesterday. Today: another grey day…
    Have you ever thought of taking extra vitamine D? That’s what we miss with no sun… I want to get into that with my pdoc.
    Take care and hold tight with the next snow storm! Spring IS coming – it really is! I’ve spring flowers in my house, I make a point of buying them for myself because they really brighten my day! And, of course, Dutchies do love their flowers and they are reasonable priced.
    Wish I could send you some😦
    Thanks for coming by and commenting, you made my day🙂

  3. I get that – it’s a great analogy. Thanks for linking up 🙂

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