Shifting moods

Oh bother,  I know that I am shifting moods…. but did I really have to leave the pan on the fire when I left to run errands???  Thankfully it was on very low fire,  there was some milk left in it and it had a thick bottom….  This is the stuff kitchen fires are made of.  Scary!

One of my sayings is:  I am glad my head is fastened to my body, otherwise I would lose it too.  Well, I don’t know where it was this morn’,  it sure was LOST y’all!

Even though I have been feeling blue and sad these last couple of days,  I have still been able to do some tasks.  Now thàt is a major accomplishment, peeps! 

I have been hypomanic for several weeks,  resulting in a very clean house :).  Also being much more social,  as I tend to be a recluse when depressed.  In fact,  I can become a total chatterbox when (hypo)manic,  including talking to strangers (people on the street,  in shops etc.).  Which is always quite unsettling for me as I am a little shy by nature.  It definitely doesn’t feel like ‘me’,  if you know what I mean. 

This time the hypomania hasn’t been so bad and I have actually enjoyed my episode.  For one, I started this blog and it turns out I am enjoying the bloggy thing immensely (not the technically challenging stuff though,  that drives me nuts!).  Second,  I enjoy a clean, clutter-free house!  Third, I have caught up on some relationships,  very important!

But the down side is that what goes up, will come down at some point.  Hence my feeling slightly depressed and sad.  Mind you, my dad passed away not that long ago,  so there probably is some grief involved as well.

That is probably one of the most challenging things:  how do I figure out if my mood comes from my brain or is appropriate to the circumstances?  Was there a trigger that set of an episode?  It is a real challenge, but I am known to take those head-on.

One thing is for sure:  with bipolar,  you have never a dull moment!

BTW the pan is totally ruined,  but I am gonna use it to plant some flowers come Spring to enjoy on my balcony 🙂


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4 responses to “Shifting moods

  1. I recently went through a panic attack and within hours I knew what triggered me. That was a first, to know so fast what it was that set me off. I hate going through those things because I totally check out, mentally speaking, and just sit and cry. It’s scary and I fight it all the way through. I am so glad I have Phil to help me get through these things because I cannot even pray for myself. He did that and helped me out and back into the present.
    You will get through this.

    • Fenny

      Thanks Michelle! I am already doing so much better, not in the least because I have my own place now. That means stability, which is so important if you want to tackle these things. I am determined to live life to the fullest, despite mood shifts. My support source is Ric, I am so so so grateful for him!
      Another reason why I started this blog is so others around me will be more informed on what it actually means for me to have bipolar. And it helps me a lot to be able to write about it.
      I am sorry you have to go thru those panic attacks, they are so horrid. Glad you are making improvements as well. Knowing what triggers us is so important for dealing with it. Great that Phil was there and knew how to help you!
      Take care of yourself and thanks for your help with the blog, really appreciate it!

  2. I like turned a ruined pot into a planter. That’s like making lemons out of lemonade! Glad you entered the blogging world!

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