Woke up in a terrible mood this morning – so very irritated that really nothing is right in my world at the moment. You know, when everything, every little thing irritates you beyond measure… and irritation leads to anger and nastiness. It makes me itchy in my own skin.
Not a good mood to be around people. So I skipped church this morning.
And you know – it’s so hard for me to know what is the best thing to do. How do I take care of myself in this situation?
How far do I let this mood intrude in my life? I know it is my brain chemicals, there is nothing else that can account for this mood. So now what?
I remind myself that it is okay to feel the way I feel. There is no shame in it – even if it keeps me from doing what I have planned to do. Some moods I can’t overcome (yet?) – and this is one of them.
So I listen to my favorite worship songs because that takes the attention away from myself and my terribly uncomfortable mood. In Ukraine, good friends of mine are songwriters and I have brought a whole lot of new CD’s with me. Accidentally, I love to sing in Russian :)
It helps me ro realise that God is so much bigger than my mood. He can handle it – even if I can’t or I struggle with it. He envelopes me with His presence and reminds me that it’s okay to be me.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t take my mood away. But it quiets my heart and makes the world a little better place to be in.
And I know: this too shall pass!
After all, that is something we as bipolars can be sure of!!!!!!!