Once again I am joining The Gypsy Mama:
On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.
For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.
For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.
Won’t you join us?
- Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
- Link back here and invite others to join in.
- Most important: comment and encourage the person who linked up before you.
OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:
I didn;t feel particially awake this week…
I felt overwhelmed by a host of emotions that actually knocked me off my feet, in a quite literal sense. I haven;t been able to do much of anything. I am proud that I was awake enough to go to work and continue my one hour session of fitness mid-week. Other than that, I felt oblivion to the rest of the world, cocooned in my own world where my thoughts are swirling around, making my head hurt and my heart ache.
I encountered and was confronted with a part of me related to my bipolar and my upbringing that failed to correct my behaviour and help deal with this particular trait. It hurts like hell and makes me hate my bipolar with a passion.
If I thought I had accepted my bipolar, this was a confrontation that made it clear that to some degree I havent.
As long as it only inconveniences and influences me, I am quite allright with it. As soon as it starts to mess with (precious) relationships, I am off kilter and get knocked out sometimes pretty severely.
I hadn;t seen it coming. I couldn’t to be fair.
To awaken to some parts of yourself that you rather wouldn;t have is a painful business.
Of course the good side of it is that I have the opportunity to work on it and change it. It’s never too late for change, thank God!
All the same, the shut down functions pretty good in my circumstances and to awaken to my painful feelings concerning thsi issue isn;t easy.
Accepting oneself with the odds and particularities one has, isn;t an easy mission. Yest it is one I am determined to fulfil.
Because I want to learn to cherish myself as much as I cherish my friends…